The Difficulty Of Letting Go Of An Ex
When a relationship breaks down, both partners have to go through a duel. Regardless of the reasons that led to the breakup, sometimes we find ourselves unable to let go of our ex, he or whoever was our partner.
Pain and suffering will depend on the time and quality of the relationship. Obviously, the more years we’ve been dating, the harder it will be to build a new routine. However, it is important to know how to turn the page.
Let’s go deeper.
Letting go of an ex to allow yourself to continue
Why is it so difficult for us to disassociate ourselves from that person? Why is it hard for us to let our ex go? Are we so in love? Endless questions pile up in our heads, preventing us from thinking clearly.
Sometimes we even force ourselves to try one more time, but the problems are not resolved and they reappear. The result is that we are faced with a second breakup, more painful and worse than the first.
Here are some reasons that can explain the feelings associated with the end of the relationship.
1. Emotional dependency
Many are the people who suffer from emotional dependence, the inability to live without being in a relationship. Sometimes this is the result of emotional deficiencies that drag on even from childhood.
Emotional dependence causes us to be unable to separate from our partner. Even if we have no other choice, we fill the gap that has been left with a new person whom we often barely know.
In this type of problem, we do not realize that we do not love our partner, we just need them.
2. We don’t like to lose
Yes, let’s face it, nobody likes to lose. This causes that rupture and the subsequent disconnection are something that is not among our plans.
Many times the humiliation that comes with the end of a relationship takes a toll on our self-esteem, causing us to see ourselves as people who do not deserve to be loved.
This can lead to the development of a narcissistic wound that needs to remain open in a constant way, in the search for a revenge that shows that, really, we are the ones who did not deserve that spite.
3. Get out of the comfort zone
Many might confuse it with the fear of loneliness, but this goes much further. We are afraid of losing that comfortable state in which we find ourselves, because change has always terrified us.
We have lived in a situation with our partner for a long time and changing all of this is something we reject. We believe we feel safe in that circumstance because we fear that everything will get worse.
But what are we afraid of? Sometimes our fears are unfounded. On many occasions we are dragged and forced to leave our comfort zone and we do not like that, but when we have no other option, refusing is not an alternative.
There are many times when we do not want to let an ex go because we feel insecure to face life without that person who has been by our side for so long. This, however, is called selfishness.
We have to learn to let go, because only then can we move on. In addition, we make a big mistake as a result of our perception of romantic love: we believe that there is no life beyond our partner.
This, in addition to being harmful, is false and blinds us to the presence of our family, friends and close people who love us and would give everything for us.
When a door closes, a window opens
A breakup does not mean that your life is over, it implies that a chapter has been closed. But since when has a book only had one chapter? Also, you may need to learn to be alone before dating someone else again.
Start to turn the page and continue writing the story of your life. You still have many experiences to live, so open yourself to the new, enjoy your loved ones and put the past aside. Life is too short to waste.
