Why Don’t We Break When The Relationship Doesn’t Work Anymore

When everything indicates that the union as a couple has come to an end, ending is the only decision that seems logical and correct. So why don’t we break up when the relationship no longer works? What keeps us clinging to something that has no solution? You’ve tried everything, but nothing is the same anymore and it never seems to be the same again.

Yet you are still there. Many times, we are unable to make the difficult decision to officially end a relationship that is already completely over. Especially when it has been a lasting story in which sincere love has existed. Next, we will tell you what is the reason that this happens.

What keeps us in a relationship that no longer works?

Saying goodbye and continuing life is the healthiest way out, but sometimes we try to convince ourselves that it is something circumstantial or get used to living with a problem that did not exist at first.

Many people may be surrounding us and clearly seeing that, in our case, it is best to end the union. However, this is not such an easy decision. Why don’t we break up when the relationship no longer works? There are several causes:

• Children involved.
• Guilt for failure.
• Terror of the unknown.
• Fear of confrontation.
• Refusal to lose the investment.
• Concern for social judgment.
• Uncertainty and apprehensive expectations.
• Lack of self-love and fear of loneliness.
• Fear of loss and the sadness it can cause.
• In a damaged bond, there is no distinction between the need to end and the possibility of fixing it.
• Irrational thoughts, like the fact that you will be alone forever, no one else will love you, and so on.

Any rupture implies a loss and it is undeniable that it causes us all pain because it requires turning the wheel and taking a different rhythm. One of our greatest fears is taking risks, because we have lived a routine for a long time and breaking it costs.

Sometimes we stay with the other person because of self-esteem issues. “It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t love me, I love him and one day he will feel the same way about me again,” is often thought. The illusion that something can become different even leads to frustrating reconquest plans that reveal a strong lack of self-love.

Loss aversion

One of the reasons why we don’t break up when the relationship no longer works is “loss aversion” or the difficulty in letting go of what was invested. The insistent thought that we have gambled a lot limits us to making the decision to abandon the fight.

The social environment that surrounds us also influences. The “what will they say?” is powerfull. We are not only afraid of failing, but of being seen by the rest. In this way, keeping the appearances of a happy and perfect life, at times, chains us.

Another cause is the existence of children and the fear that with the breakup we will harm them. This factor can make a marriage live for years without intimacy and in a hostile environment that, ironically, does not do the children any good either.

Signs that it’s over

A relationship doesn’t work when either or both of you lose the motivation to continue. Sometimes we are in doubt, but there are undeniable signs, such as those in the following list, that the connection has an expiration date.

• Distrust.
• Lack of interest.
• Hostile environment.
• Lack of communication.
• Sex is not satisfying or does not exist.
• It is better away from that person than in their presence.
• It does not contribute anything positive or prevents us from carrying out your plans for the future.

We deserve to be happy and, given these signs, it is clear that we are not happy and that there is something we must change. Therefore, when we identify them, it is best to take it as an opportunity to learn to walk by yourself.

Either because their time is over or because their continuity would end up being destructive, there are times when reality dictates that we put an end to something. Letting go, forgiving if necessary, and moving on is the most important thing to continue a healthy life.

If we do not know how to handle this situation, the most sensible thing is to ask for help. professional. Why don’t we break up when the relationship no longer works? Out of habit, out of fear of losing, because of the social environment. As you can see, there are many factors for this to happen.

Either way, we can mask it or get used to the cracks, but deep down, we know that the healthiest thing to do is to say goodbye. It is not very romantic, but it is easier to understand the reasons of the brain than those of the heart.