The Most Important Thing When Looking For A Partner

When we immerse ourselves in the action of looking for a partner, we can put aside what is most important to focus, only, on the superficial.

Thus, we choose those people who fit our prototype : brunettes or blondes, tall or short, mature or immature, nice or serious …

However, this type of choice can cause a lot of problems. In the long term, we may realize that we are not connecting deeply with our partner, that something is wrong, and that the relationship is going downhill.

Looking for a partner is a conscious decision

Looking for a partner has to be a conscious and mature decision. It is important to know well what we would like to find. It is clear that there will not be that perfect person who has all the elements that we want in someone.

However, it is possible to be sure that the couple we choose is the most suitable for us if we look at certain aspects that will be essential to know, for sure, if the relationship will have a future or not.

The fears you have

Everyone has some kind of fear. However,  some of them can negatively interfere with the relationship that is being forged.

For example, if the person we have chosen is afraid of being alone, we can become in a relationship in which there is dependency. In it, we can be overwhelmed by certain attitudes that our partner will show to feel safe and without fear of abandoning her.

• Likewise, if you have an intense fear that we will be unfaithful because you have gone through similar previous experiences, we will have to think very well.
• Perhaps a lack of confidence is present. This can be translated into constant questions: “where have you been and with whom?” and control over mobile and social networks.

Your personality type

They say that opposites attract. However, the truth is that it is necessary that our personality is similar to that of our partner. For example, if one of the two people is very orderly and the other very disorderly, this could trigger a conflict.

We can never change the person with whom we decide to forge a relationship. This is something that is important to be very clear about. If the differences between you do not bother you at first, make sure that this will continue in the future.

Over time and the wear and tear of the relationship, things that we did not notice before begin to bother us. So let’s not get carried away by the blindness of the infatuation phase. If looking for a partner is something that is on our mind, let’s do it being aware of all this.

Communication styles when looking for a partner

What do we mean by this? That there are people who find it difficult to talk about certain topics and others not so much. Communication is essential in every couple and, if it fails from the beginning, it can ruin the relationship.

Pointless arguments and various problems can arise from a lack of understanding derived from a lack of communication between the couple. That is why it is important to determine how the communication style of the other person. Do you listen me? Do you speak honestly about what is wrong with you? Do you usually lie?

What gets me about her?

When we are in that moment of looking for a partner, the idealization can blind us to let ourselves go and not think about everything mentioned so far. However, it is important to make an effort and be realistic.

When time passes, the magic will go away and you will both want to push the relationship because she no longer does it on her own, what will urge you to stay together?

There has to be something. Be it the sense of humor or an aspect of the personality of the other person that catches us. Something special and unique. If this is not the case, we may meet someone who does not stimulate us. It will be then when the emptiness makes an appearance.

Looking for a partner is not always a goal

Sometimes we prefer to let ourselves go and wait for that person with whom we would like to share our life appears. However, if you are in that active search, keep the above points in mind to avoid unpleasant surprises in the future.