Why Is It That By Loving Another We Are Not Able To Leave Our Partner
Ideally, the person we love is the one we share our home with. However it is not always so. Many times we maintain a commitment with someone, while our heart points towards another person. Why is it that by loving another we are not able to leave our partner?
Perhaps someone awakened very beautiful feelings in you, but after time that passion diminished and another person is the one that now makes your heart beat. The sensible thing to do would be to face the problem and decide to start a new course, but something is holding you back.
Today we will talk to you about the reasons why we remain by the side of someone even if we no longer love them. You will understand that you are not alone and that, believe it or not, there are solutions for your situation.
Why can’t we leave our partner?
The reasons why we are not able to leave our partner even if we no longer love them are many. We present the main reasons:
- Commitment: when we decide to have a relationship as a couple, we tacitly acquire the commitment to be by their side for life. So it’s easy to feel caught between what you think should be and what your emotions are telling you.
- Fear of hurting: no matter how much we stop loving our partner, we prefer to sacrifice ourselves for fear of hurting him, sacrificing our own happiness.
- Fear of the future: The person with whom we have a relationship, regardless of whether we love them or not, gives us a certain sense of stability that we fear losing in exchange for what it would imply to start a new romance from scratch.
- Social environment: what family and friends will say weighs heavily in the decisions we make. Separating for loving another is not well seen in society, especially when the woman who has stopped loving her partner is the woman.
- Children: when there are children involved, it is likely that we choose to sacrifice ourselves, even loving another, as long as the children grow up in a home with the father as head. This greatly prevents us from moving forward in the breakdown of a relationship.
Consequences
Leaving aside those reasons why we are not able to leave our partner despite the fact that we are loving another, we must take into account the consequences that this can bring:
- Hostile environment: the discomfort caused by not wanting to be with someone can translate into aggressive behaviors towards the partner, causing a hostile environment at home that ends up affecting our happiness and that of all household members, including children.
- Frustration: as much as we repeat over and over again that the right thing to do is to stay with the partner, the fact that we cannot live with the one we truly love fills us with frustration and anger with ourselves.
- Depression: long-repressed feelings end up generating states of constant anxiety and sadness and can affect our self-esteem.
- Infidelity: the fear of abandoning our partner and starting life with a new person makes us take the dangerous path of infidelity. A situation that, if discovered, will bring us many more problems than if we had raised the matter from the beginning.
To do?
The healthiest thing is to be next to the person you love. Reflect on how strong that feeling is and if the person you could leave your partner for corresponds to you with the same intensity. Evaluate how much you are sacrificing for not hurting others.
Also make sure that it is not a platonic love affair, and there is a real chance of truly being 100% with that person. Don’t just think about the novelty and the short term.
In this way, imagine what life could be like with that person over the years. Can you imagine going through the trauma of the breakup so that, in a few years, everything would be the same with that person?
Discuss the situation with your current partner. Explain that this has nothing to do with their value as a person, that feelings can change, and that you need some time away to make a final decision. Sincerity is one of the deepest qualities we can have as a couple.
Although sometimes, even loving another, we believe that we are not capable of leaving our partner, the endings are necessary. When you are no longer happy next to a person, it is time to finish and move towards a new course. Overcome vicissitudes with maturity and confidence, not just in a relationship, but in life in general.
